NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
