Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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