I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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