She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
