Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Randomize
