They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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