I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
What drink are we having for lunch?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
