Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
