just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Two words: blizzard sex
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
