There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize