you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I came so hard my ears popped.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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