wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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