Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
