Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
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