Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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