Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
