it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
