I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
