butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
