I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
As shirtless as possible
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
