she was so not down for the gang bang
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
