Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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