You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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