it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
