He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
it's like heaven, but drunker
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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