haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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