Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
