HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
