My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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