i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
