my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
