she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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