This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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