So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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