she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
