hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize