I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
