The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
