i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
