I am in a vortex of obligation.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
