it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
