Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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