it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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