Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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