At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Randomize
