I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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