I wish they made helmets for livers.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize