Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
