I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
