i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
