a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
