i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
