I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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