I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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