At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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