Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
