took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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