just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
try to milk me bitch
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