I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
