So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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