I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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