Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
