I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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