He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
