Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
