Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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