My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
