The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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